I’ve let life get in the way of keeping up with ThreeMility. Since my last post back in May, we’ve welcomed our third baby girl, Salem Marielle, into our family. She radiates pure joy all the time, and makes my heart so full.
I’ve also officially stopped teaching in public school. I was not sure what I would be able to do to help support our family, but I also knew that God was leading me away from my securities. After a couple of months, I had a complete (and divine) change of heart and decided I would try private tutoring (something I rejected for several years). I was fully prepared to need a lot of patience and trust before building up enough clientele to feel comfortable not working outside of the home. In a matter of 2 months, I was creating a waiting list—God provided so much more than I could have imagined!
While I am still early on in my new journey, one thing has made a huge impression on my heart. Almost a year ago now, I remember hearing a guest speaker at our church talk about his journey in planting a new church. He said he kept trying to make this dream happen, and it just would never work out. He was very discouraged, but motivated and proactive in trying to make this happen. Eventually, he brought his frustration to the Lord and felt like God was telling him to stop pushing so hard and wait. It definitely was not the answer he wanted, but he did put his pursuit on hold. He did go on later to be personally asked to pursue his dream with much encouragement and support from many important people to him. During his sermon, he said that experience taught him the significant difference between promoting self and being promoted.
When I decided to try private tutoring, I was overwhelmed and worried. I was certain it would take years before I had enough clients, worried I wouldn’t be able to get much from word of mouth like others had. I also had the “promoting self” concept replaying in my head. So, I gave it to God. Literally abandoned all burdens and worry related to providing for my family. I decided that if this was what He wanted me doing, then I didn’t need to go around promoting myself tirelessly, begging for clients, consumed with fear of failure. He would either bring them to me or I was meant to do something else, either way I was not in control. So, I sent out ONE email blast to former parents of students I taught the year before. A few weeks later, I had my first client. And then another the next week. And another. It was pretty steady with every week or so I’d get another client or two. Every single time I would smile and feel empowered by being promoted by the One who is in control of it all. I don’t have to doubt if I made the right choice for my family; I’m confidently where I need to be right now. I couldn’t really grasp what people meant by saying letting go of control was so freeing, but I do now. Take it from a control freak, like me, and give it a try—it’s truly life changing and humbling.